mayvelous » Humors

My bullshit’s sweet perfume etc

May — Mon, 07 Feb 2011 11:29:29 +0000

Yet another random mumblings or something like what’s that cartoon says: “My bullshit’s sweet perfume etc”

Damn Dishwasher
I need a good flask or a little teapot for my tea. Don’t wanna waste tea bags for each cup of hot water I drink. 1 tea bag can be used for about 3 cups ie. I just want a mild lukewarm tea so gotta get a good little flask and have to keep it save in my drawer. Whenever I clean a cup and keep it on my desk, it disappears the next day. The office cleaner must have taken it back to the kitchen. Let me keep my own clean cup at least! I don’t like the dishwasher they have here, it’s not clean at all and very disgusting with many residues still sticking to the dishes after. Why can’t they just leave a traditional liquid soup and a sponge there! Anyways…You see, I use this folded tissue paper to cover my tea cup just to keep it warm a bit longer. I’ve been wondering why the side facing the hot water doesn’t get wet but the outer side does. Hmm someone care to explain me the reason? I’ve never been good at Chemistry.

Tweets of the week
I just find this two pretty amusing.
@kaoskongo #YouKnowYourFijian ‘Umbrella’ is pronounced ‘Um-ba-re-lla’ #ella #ella

@sher0d Just viewed source on Bing: Bing

Aussie Guys
Yesterday I was walking along Pitt St towards Castlereagh St and saw this two men kissing passionately in the middle of a very crowded street. Then another couple around World Square was hugging and whispering as they walk. Again this morning when I was on the way to work, on the bus, this big guy sitting next to me was flirting on the phone but I can very clearly hear the receiver from the other end was a man as well. Then I remember my Czech ex-flatmate once says; “In Australia, all the guys are either Married, Taken or Gays“. Hmm…O…K… I have no discrimination toward bi, tri, quad or whatever genders. I just find that people over here are very passionate and very openly show their affection in the public places. May be I’m just a traditionalist or come from a place where I don’t often see those kind of public affections so it’s kind of new for me.

Santa’s Close Relatives
I always have a problem with hairy people, especially those with extreme facial hair. I just can’t understand why they’re so very much in love with their facial hair; some cultivate them very carefully, some just have them for the sake of having them and some just doesn’t own a mirror or a shave. Whatever their reasons are, they just freak me out and kind of scare me. We had a lunch at this bar, Lord Nelson Brewery, last Friday. It was quite a crowded lunch hour; our table was right beside the entrance and 80% of the guys coming in have all those ugly facial hair and untidy long bird nest hair…urgh! Anyways, the lunch was nice, I had chilli crab spaghetti. I’m thinking of trying out the pie next time cos’ the table next to us were having pies and I’m very much curious about what those green stuffs on their pies are.

Ok that’s all for now. Ohhohoho

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“M” for “May”

May — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 07:42:11 +0000

I was tagged on facebook and couldn’t figure out how to post a note there so I’m posting here anyways.

What is your name: May
A four Letter Word: Moon
A boy’s Name: Michael
A girl’s Name: Marilyn
An occupation: Manager
A color: Magenta
Something you’ll wear : Marc Jacobs + Maybelline
A food: Mutton + Mashed Potatoes (Moon Cake + M&Ms for dessert)
Something found in the bathroom: Mat + Medicine cabinet
A place: Melbourne
A reason for being late: Malaria or Mad cow disease
Something you’d shout: Mwahahaha!
A movie title: Me, Myself & Irene
Something you drink: Mocha
A musical group: Muse
An animal: Mongoose
A street name: Maunicau Rd (ok not exactly a street)
A type of car: Mini Cooper (Mr. Bean’s car) or Mini Bus
The title of a song: My Life Would Suck Without You, My Heart Will Go On
A verb: Motivate

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Level of funniness

May — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 08:34:53 +0000

Now that’s how you define how funny something is. When you say “LOL”, that means “hahahah”.

via: stevecla

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Turn Your Name Into A Face

May — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 05:32:58 +0000

Got this link via N3 post, “Turn your name into a face“, and thought I’m gonna try it as well. Quite amusing how those faces turn out from your name.

Here is the true face behind “May Hnin Phyu“.

Oh lord, did I just see a beard? The mouth and the hair look quite similar but I don’t have a beard for sure.

N3 suggests to try your name in Burmese as well, so I did and it came out as a robot.

“Mayvelous” turns out to be some dude. Hehe kinda weird isn’t it? Alrite, type in your name and see how you look like. Here is the site.

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You’re No One If You’re Not On Twitter

May — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 22:28:46 +0000

I haven’t been following any news, feeds or even personal emails. Just now I ran through GV flags quickly and found this one interesting so checked out the link. It really makes me smile so just sharing here. Some GVers translated back into various languages haha. Amusing indeed.

You’re No One If You’re Not On Twitter – The Twitter song.

You’re no one if you’re not on Twitter
And if you aren’t there already you’ve missed it
If you haven’t been bookmarked, retweeted and blogged
You might as well not have existed

In the old days it was all about achievements
Collecting all your trophies in a shrine
Then everybody came across the internet
And suddenly you had to be online

A home page was all you really needed
To seem like a success but not a geek
As long as you updated semi-annually
And checked your email once or twice a week

You’re no one if you’re not on Twitter…

Technology was moving rather quickly
And the next thing you needed was a blog
With intimate and detailed press releases
And now and then a photo of your dog

More recently the students brought us Facebook
And everybody has a hundred friends
The parties in the photos look amazing
They’re not so great but everyone pretends

You’re no one if you’re not on Twitter…

Now you need to publish every movement
And every single thought to cross your mind
I’m told the Twitterverse is full of rubbish
But most of us are actually quite refined

We validate each other’s insecurities
And brag about the gadgets that we’ve bought
We laugh out loud at every hint of jolliness
And try to self-promote without being caught

You’re no one if you’re not on Twitter…

So are you somebody or nobody? Are you on twitter yet? Oh yes, luckly I’m someone on twitter. LOL

There is a video, mp3 download, TShirt and a few other stuffs about the Twitter song. Better go check out at I Hate Morning site.

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Inet Software Borrowing Register

May — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 01:03:40 +0000

I haven’t written about office muses for a while and thought I’ll write something about last week muses from our department. Here is the story.

You see, we have this disc stakka where we stored all our department softwares. It’s attached to a spare box sitting on my desk and I kind of become an unofficial librarian. Whoever ask to borrow software from me, I’ll just eject the discs from the stakka and hand it to them. There is no record of how many discs we have and who borrowed them. The stakka itself is installed for everyone hence anybody can login to the box and eject any disc as they like. The result is we lost a few important discs over the months. I have no idea who took them but discs are obviously keep missing from the disc stakka. We sent a few notification emails to everyone in the office asking about the missing discs but nobody responded.

I kind of feel responsible about it since it was sitting on my desk and I am the one who is giving out the discs most of the time (unless ofcos they login to the box and eject the discs themselves when I’m away). The problem with me is that whenever I am into something or concentrating on a task at hand, I seriously don’t care about things happening around. I don’t see or hear anything unless someone pokes at me or waves in front of face. Even so, I don’t hear half of the thing they are saying. So when someone asks a disc from me while I am busy, I just remove the disc and give it to them without looking at their faces or noting their names. That must be one of the reasons people take advantage of my ignorance to snatch some discs from me.

Anyways, last week we had a very loud and noisy discussing about how to maintain our softwares. Most of my colleagues say not to borrow software to anybody outside our department. Our HR manager disagrees and wants everyone to share the software the company owns. (Ok, I wasn’t in the discussion/arguments as it was happening at one of our colleagues’ desk and I just over heard bits and pieces.) Finally we agree to properly keep track of the disc movement in some way. Boss made up a software borrowing register spreadsheet and mail it to everyone saying, unless and otherwise people fill in the register prior to picking up a disc, we are not to give it to them. But the spreadsheet was editable by everyone which is not a good idea so I created a form out of it and pass around the form. After checking the form, one of our colleagues argues that the form is very easy to fill and we like to make thing difficult for whoever comes to borrow our discs. So he suggested a few adjustments to the form.

Here are some of his suggestions:

Way too easy, we need some pain here. Can we add some more fields :
Put this under “Borrower Details“

Weight (kg)

Height (cm)

Eye colour (offer Green, Blue, Grey, Brown)

Blood Type (offer A, B, AB, O) (suggestion to add negative, positive as well)

Hair Colour (offer Black, Grey, Brown, Red, Blond)

Random Question from http://www.survey-machine.com/take_survey/627331 that we’ll change every week or so, we’ll start with no. 1 “Have you ever peed your pants after age 8?”

Make all fields required.

There is a few more input from other colleagues as well such as “Do you have any recent health problem say in last 6 months?”, “Provide the medical certificate to prove your blood type”, etc…

How about that!? Is the form painful enough yet? Haha, I’m not sure how many borrowers will be able to fill in that form and surely throw some serious curses at us.

Anyways, I felt sorry for whoever have to fill in the form, and I did not implement those “Borrower Details” but left the simple form as below and see how things turn out. We had a few beta tests with our gang and now it is released to suva_everyone. One serious flaw we try to ignore is that anyone can login to the machine and remove the disc while I’m away from my desk. But for the time being, it’s doing quite well without complaint, a few minute ago, someone filled in the form and took 3 discs from me. I wonder how long this system will last though.

So how do you keep track of the softwares in your organization? Do share with us some of the cool systems you use in your company. And ofcos’ you are most welcome to make suggestion to our system above as well.

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Those little red underlines

May — Sat, 26 Jan 2008 04:18:14 +0000

Lately I can’t even spell the simple words correctly, not to mention the deteriorating state of my hand-writing as I depend too much on computer – MS word and FF spell-check extension. Very soon, I’ll be like the one mentioned in this cartoon.

Good one isn’t it? Via: Extra Life

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Lunchtime Talk: A Corn Seed Story

May — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 04:37:28 +0000

This is a typical lunch time conversation between me and my bro.

Scenario: Today we’re having a fried corn curry and an incident relating it.

Bro: Ah Oh, I swallow a corn seed in whole.
Me: You wait till you shit; the seeds will come out whole too.
Bro: Yah the seeds in the shit hehehe
Me: It’s gonna be very colorful with seeds LOL

(He pulse for a while trying to shape up the thoughts while gulping down his lunch)

Bro: You know what; you should make a poll on your blog.
Me: huh? poll?
Bro: Yah, a poll to get a survey on number of people who look at their own shit while toileting. The options should go like this:
Do you look at your shit while toileting?

Yes

No

Always look at it

Never look at it

Now, that’s a good one. LOL
Me: LOL Man, if I do that my reputation would go down the drain. haha but good idea though. You look or no looking? haha

(we laugh our heads off – we pulse again – continue eating lunch – imagine what we just talk about – laugh again while chewing corn seeds properly.)

What do you think? Should I make a poll out of it? hehe Nah I better not. This is already too stupid to blog about it. Come to think of it, I remember last time a friend of mine said, in Australia they are encouraging people to look at their shit after they done. By looking at it, you are more aware of your health problem cos’ the shape and color of the shit tell you a few things about your health… or something…may be she was joking. I’m not sure on how they differentiate types of shits… may be I’ll ask her properly next time haha. So yes, ~~looking~~examining your own shit is a good thing and we all should start doing it. OMG I’m so bad writing shits on lunchtime. LOL

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Lunch Time Thoughts

May — Fri, 25 May 2007 03:33:17 +0000

X: What’s for lunch today?
Me: Chicken and Egg
X: Very good; mother and fetus.

Thought #1: I never thought of it that way before…now that he mentioned it, it sounds very eeky. I feel sorry to eat up the whole family. Gosh that’s it, I’m gonna tell my mom, not to cook Chicken and Egg the same time.

Note: It’s not cooked as combination but a separate two curries. Egg, potato and green peas as one and separate fried chicken as one. Still…mother and fetus.

Thought #2: You know, when you eat stake or pork or anything with lots of meat fibers, it got stuck in your teeth. I hate that feeling the most. Sometimes if it’s really stuck in between, you can’t even remove them by brushing your teeth. You gotta floss them with some thread. Oh I just hate that so much. So trying to eat less meat.

Thought #3: Last night Mom says, she’s becoming a Peking duck because she missed her badminton games for a few weeks. I asked her what is that mean and she said Peking ducks can’t wonder around. They just sit in their own little boxes, get fed everyday and waiting for their time to get eaten. It sounds very painful just living to get killed. Mom said every animal live stock are just living and eating to get killed/eaten. That make us, human, to be very cruel beings. I feel very sorry for those animals.

Thought #4: I recalled someone says, eating meat is regarded as consuming on dead corpses. That is just so gross.

Thought #5: Going back to thought #2, I got another thought about tooth brushes. There is a Colgate tooth brush Ad on FijiTVOne. There is this big glamorous tooth brush and small normal tooth brush. It goes something like this:

Small Brush: Ah…excuse me Sir; are you the Colgate 360?
Big Brush: Yes, I am.
Small Brush: Is that true that you have a tongue cleaner?
Big Brush: That’s right, not only tongue cleaner, I’m a teeth and gum cleaner.
Small Brush: Waarh!!
Big Brush: You see kid, blar bla blah……
(The big brush talks of some explanation talk on his special features and stuffs.)

Finally the small brush says:
Small Brush: You know when I grow up I want to be just like you.
And the Ad ends there.

Whenever that Ad comes, I always wonder this BIG question in my head:
When a tooth brush grows old, you throw it in the rubbish bin and buy a new one.
How can that “Small Brush” be just like the “Big Brush”?

C’mon, I don’t want to disappoint him, but he gonna go straight to the bin for sure. Unless you recycle him (upgrade to Colgade 360) or whatever. But he still going to the bin. LOL.

Thought #6: I have another big thought on Coca-Cola TV Ad as well. This guy, he put a coin to the soda machine, the coin starts rolling in and there is this big Cola factory with all those cartoon characters bringing Coke bottle, filling up by mid-air Cola tank, icemen gets blown away by big fan to frozen the Coke bottle and they shooting fireworks as filling up the gas…and finally perfectly filled Coco-Cola bottle comes out from the machine. The guy took it and get confused by little Christmas music coming out from the box. The Ad ends there.

Now here is my thought. I like the Ad very much for all those cartoon characters and the music. But there is one place I don’t understand. There are some kind of puffy white dolls kissing all over the Coca-Cola bottle before it gets frosted up by icemen. What are they for? Are they for cooling purpose? But icemen pretty much done the cooling process. So till now, it’s a mystery for me and I keep wondering what those kissing puffy dolls do in the Ad. If anyone knows the reason behind those puffy kisses, please let me know so that I can sleep well at night. LOL

Note: Surprisingly, my genius brother, who normally get the ideas from TV Ads quite easily asked me the same question about kissing things other night. So now we both searching for the truth behind kisses. Hehe.

Thought #7: There is another Ad on “D-Power” dish cleaning soup. I can’t stand that Ad cos’ it’s so awful the way they act in there. But the music stays in my head and can’t get rid of it. It goes “D-Power, Oielai lai lai…D-Power”. It makes me wonder what is that “Oie lai” actually express in there; does it make like “Wow” or “OMG” or “Zzz” kind of expressions?

Ok this “Oie lai” is the same thing/expression as “A Ma Lai” in Burmese. You can use “A Ma Lai” with different kind of expression depending on the sitution rite? Well that goes for this “Oie Lai” too. So in this Ad, I always wonder what expression does it emphasise upon. Hmmmm

Ok enough with stupid thoughts; they all started from Chicken and Egg story which go all over TV Ads.
Now May, back to work!!!

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Family Conversation

May — Thu, 10 May 2007 02:25:24 +0000

Scenario: My mom checking out what I’m doing and curious about who my friends are.

Me: tap tap tap….
Mom: what are to doing?
Me: Chatting with Missy.
Mom: Are they your friends? (Looking at my gtalk friend list icons)
Me: yah
Mom: who is the one called D-A-D?
Me: huh? Who?
Mom: D-A-D
Me: LOL it’s Dad!! Faygyi lay.
Mom: Oh, you chat with your father across the room too.
Me: You don’t know who the person is in the photo?
Mom: well I can’t see the photo properly.
Me: Yah yah that’s Dad.

For some reason, I chat with my dad and brother on gtalk at home instead of go talk to them in person. Last time, I was asking something to my brother over gtalk then he started yelling from his room, why am I chatting him on gtalk instead of just ask him outside. My mom is the only one who doesn’t use computer at home so I do the proper talking with her the most. At work too, all of us talk each other over gtalk even that person is sitting a few feet away from you. I guess I’ve been communicating with my laptop too much that I hardly ever need to do the real talking. These days I’m excessively using gtalk or emails for my communication purposes. Oh geez, what if I forget how to talk. haha that’ll be interesting.

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April Fools

May — Sun, 01 Apr 2007 03:23:18 +0000

Scenario: It’s April the first and I’m cracking my head to think up some prank ideas to play on my friends. I asked for some help from my genius brother.

Me: “Phothar (his home name), we do some April fools. You got any idea?”
Bro: “You are the fool and it’s April. Good idea huh?”
Me: (…..)

Lesson: Never to ask for help from a smart arse or you’ll get yourself fooled.

Have fun fooling around.

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Salary Talk

May — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 03:14:08 +0000

Scenario: The gangs are talking about salaries at USP (University of South Pacific).

X: These gangs at USP, their base salary is 80K.
Z: They are ripping off students. Filthy rich.
X: What if all of us salary is 100K?
Y: Fiji is not that rich.
X: I’m just saying…what if our IT team salary is 100K? Everyday pizza…”Z” will be twice that size.
Z: How Rude!!
(* Chuckles *)
X: Haha I’m just joking.

Thought: The higher the salary, the better/more food in take, the bigger your size will be.

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R/WW Winning Caption

May — Fri, 23 Mar 2007 03:48:08 +0000

This one is the winning caption from last week Caption Contest at Read/Write Web.
Short, sweet and sharp, I like it!

Winning Caption: “Google Human Indexing – We start early.”

Check out other captions too at Read/Write Web.

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Me and the IT Team

May — Mon, 12 Mar 2007 04:15:21 +0000

The IT team I’m working with at the moment is made up of very young and cheerful youths in their mid 20s. They do numerous daily routines such as maintaining websites, reports, support calls, tech job such as fixing printers and whatever people ask them to help with. Most of the time, guys are running around different departments and picking calls. Very few times, you’ll find them sitting at their desk. They do shifts and some stay up really late to finish their work. Though they are busy, you will find them cheerful, always ready to make a joke and are quite loud. Sometimes they would pick on each others, calling names and saying bad things against each other. They are doing it just to amuse themselves during the busy hours and bring up team spirit.

I enjoy working with them, they amuse me most of the times and would never get bored listening to their chatters. Indeed, it’s a good team and working environment (except for closely packed room).

The followings are some of their conversations I picked up today:

Playing Music
Scenario:The guy was playing some instrumental music and others starting complaining at him.

X: May, if this disturbing you, let me know Ok? For the rest of you, you got no choice.

May: It’s Ok.

The Rest: Wow Vayah, Like that huh!

X: It’s always been like that!

(*Laugh*)

ID Card Idea.
Scenario: The guys were discussing about their new ID card design.

X: Hey who’s the best graphic designer here? What about the layout?

(One guy (Y) went up to the board and started drawing)

Y: Let’s make it like this.
We can put our logo here.
Our address at the bottom
Name here
Photo here
Then we can add Shimmering stuffs around here.

X: What’s the shimmering stuffs?

Y: You know, some sparkling things. Something like…in nightclubs. The shining stars and the sparks.

Z: Oh rite, put some neon light balls and some dangling stuffs at the bottom of the card.

Y: Yah then we show it to everyone – this is our ID card. Auu very attractive.

Z: Haha, hey make it as Business card. Everyone wanna have one too.

(*Laugh*)

Spy
Scenario: The guys were gossiping about something in quite low tone

May: Alrite guys, I’m off

X: Auu, there she go. You know what, don’t talk around May. She’s a spy from Datec

May: What? Spy?

Y: Oh yah becareful with your confidential information. May is watching.

May: Haha yah I’m a spy. Professional Spy

May: May, James May – 0007 here.

(*Laugh*)

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Earthophobic Foot

May — Tue, 27 Feb 2007 09:40:30 +0000

A conversation between me(May) and my bossy sis (Win). This time, we were on about sentence structure but the subject was twisted into – the Earthophic Foot.

May: hey, fix this sentence for me
I want to say, it touches me
how to say that in proper sentence?

“There is only once in my life I have a personal contact with them; ie. when I tried to plant some vegetable plants and dug up a few earthworms.”

personal contact?? it sounded wrong.

Win: the 1st sentence-
“the one and only time I encoutered an earthworm was while digging soil for a vege plant.
It was my 1st and last association with an earthworm, as well as gardening”.

May: The once and only time I encountered an earthworm was while I was digging soil for a vegetable plant. I cut them half in the process. The cut parts got twisted and jumped up on my foot; I run like hell and never dig the moist soil again. It was my 1st and last association with an earthworm as well as helping mom garden.

there that’s good enough

Win: no!

May: thanks. no that’s good

Win: “the one and only time I encoutered an earthworm was while digging soil for a vege plant. I managed to mame them with my spade. Their cut pieces twisted and turned, and ewwwwwww, came in contact with my delicate foot which reflexively carried me far away, really fast.
It was my 1st and last association with an earthworm, as well as gardening.”

there.

May: full of shit!
delicate foot! my arse LOL

Win: hey, much better than urs
ur delicate foot

May: ppl will laugh n think i’m stupid
delicate foot!!! LOL

Win: fine, just write nonearth-loving foot

May: sound stupid

Win: foot

May: yah foot is enough

Win: nono- earthophobic foot

May: LOL

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